August 4, 2012 / Post a Comment
(I apologize for this post. I am in no way able to express what fills my heart. Everything I've experienced and everything I feel. My world is a mess and I can’t make head or tail of it. The following words will to many make no sense. There is no common thread and my search of words for now has ended.)

When reading deep modern identity literature it feels like reading beautiful philosophy. Starting my own one-year -trip to Thailand off by reading Haruki Murakami’s novel “South of the border, west of the sun / kokky no minami taiyou no nishii” seems like the most perfect startshot. His style of writing really kicks me and I can’t help but feel that many of the punch lines were written only for me and my own self-understanding. I guess that’s how many people feels when reading exactly his way of combining words into something deeper. The end of this school year really started my hunger for reading, which is something I’ve always enjoyed a lot but the time and lust for eating up words weren’t so much in my interest while homework and assignments filled out the reading pleasure. Lately though I’ve found this indescribable desire to read every book in the world and I’ve suddenly realized how much great literature I’ve missed out on these years. At least I know one thing I can kill time with the upcoming months.

My life has since the last updating post been turned upside down. What my lifestyle and goal was build up on was school which just… suddenly ended. Something no one really ever thought would actually happen. This has led to an enormous upheaval in so many lives that it is impossible for anyone to put into words. What now? It seems that our system has put so much pressure on us that the choices we make now will be crucial, not only for our own lives but also the future of the society. A pressure that plagues me. My latest post with words of Susanna-Cole King probably rooted in this. Maybe you and I should leave everything and go travel the world instead?
But for now I will try to enjoy my life, which may seem a bit hard. My heart is wrapped in a shawl of longing, loneliness, freedom, curiosity, fear, and most of all gratitude.
The first couple of weeks I spent with my family have been amazing, and I had forgotten what a beautiful country Thailand is. But now that they have left me, and my feet are planted in new soil I feel so lost. What this adventure so far has taught me is that goodbyes will never be easy. The last thing I remember from Copenhagen Airport is kissing Nico on the cheek, feeling his tears on my skin and then his face all red, once more saying ‘talk to you soon’ and turn around.
Every goodbye my trip has given me has made every teardrop turn into a waterfall.
finished my last exam, sct knuds gymnasium peters birthday, home mirror in resturant, Odense student portrait of björg, Odense thilde reading a book, aunt and uncles house dimmision, sct knuds gymnasium food over fire and lots of talking, stephs house lovelies on a trampoline, Zins house silke bored in a car, lasses house airport goodbye, Copenhagen nature phenomenon, rainbow circle, Hua hin girls eating ice cream, Bangkok floating market, unknown scooter at night, Hua hin night market, Hua hin elephant statue, Bangkok elephant, Chiang Mai tempel prays, Bangkok peter in our bungalow, Prachuap Khiri Khan temple, the golden triangle rain, Prachuap Khiri Khan the monkey mountain, Prachuap Khiri Khan mountains of Laos, the golden triangle dad fishing, Hua Hin view from hotel room, Hua hin

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

5 thoughts:

{ tasha faye } on: Saturday, 04 August, 2012 said...

your passion and feeling so very deeply amazes me. <3 your photographs are incredible, breathtaking. i hope you will find some peace in your mind soon. and keep on photographing, lovely girl xxxx

{ Regina Leah } on: Saturday, 04 August, 2012 said...

I can relate to every one of yor beautifully written words.
I am not yet done with school, there's one year to go but I already feel this hole of pressure coming towards me.
But you are wonderful and I am sure that you'll find your way.
If you want to travel, do it! Try to eliminate all the demands, that the society has and do what YOU want, because after endless years of school, it's about time.
Maybe during your stay in another country things will become clearer and suddenly make sense.
At least that's what I hope for when I've finished school.

Thank you so much for sharing!

{ NicoSchmelling } on: Sunday, 05 August, 2012 said...

I will always love you

{ Tori Ishikawa } on: Sunday, 05 August, 2012 said...

First, I would love to say that all the pictures are beautiful. A lot of real emotions, good moments captured, interesting portraits, culture. The editing is quite nice as well.

I completely understand what you mean about school and how our choices are incredibly crucial, although, if you think about it, what we do now will always be crucial to what we do in the future.

However, I think we should plan some and let life lead it's way in our lives. I have yet to tell my mom but I do not want to go to school after High School, I'd rather focus on my photography, find family and friends to stay with, or work hard to support myself with some friends, and travel. If school comes along in the future, then I'll go to College but as of now, I'd be wasting my time, withering away, wasting money after High School.

I think you should find what you love and whatever the odds, try and follow it. :)

Also, sounds like it was an amazing time.

{ Digitalkragen aka. Alphapony } on: Tuesday, 07 August, 2012 said...

dit design boller Verden i røven


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